I submit to your judgment

In my last post I mentioned returning to work on my latest story, which can best be described as “Conan meets Road Warrior.” Some of you may have thought that was just me being clever. If you know me at all, you know that’s impossible, so therefore it must be true.

Just for fun I thought I’d toss the first paragraph up here for your consideration.  I was halfway done with this article about the importance of first pages and thought, “How does my first paragraph stand up?” My answer to that question is both relevant and ir-, so I put it to you:


Sweetheart surged ahead as Clutch shifted gears and stomped on the go pedal, the deep traction of her oversized tires biting deep into the wild grasslands. Her engine roared a challenge, and the six-legged cougar that raced ahead answered back with a high-pitched scream. The middle pair of legs were longer than the other two, but rather than get in the cat’s way the odd rhythm this created seemed to grant the creature extra speed. Even with the mutant-born swiftness, however, Clutch and his passenger, Jorge, rode Sweetheart closer and closer to their quarry’s double-tipped tail.

What do you think?



  1. I like, I like! Looking forward to this one … is this a short story, or longer? Glad “Sweetheart” is a stick-shift, otherwise “Clutch” wouldn’t make sense … 😉

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